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Wednesday, July 16th, 2003

Subject:Where has the time gone?
Time:11:01 pm.
What's up everyone? Well it seems that most of the circle has started up their journals again, so I figure, why not give mine another shot. Let me first try to catch everyone up on what has happened since school at sdsu has ended. I'm now living back at home in the good ol' white city of La Verne, Ca. I can't complain, its nice living at home again. I will be going to Mt. Sac for a semester and then on to Cal Poly to finish up my college life, whenever that day may come. So basically I've just been hanging out, following nutwood around waiting for them to get big, and am about to go back to work at speedzone. Yeah yeah fuck you guys too. Im desparate alright.
Well what else? Oh yeah, Erin. Boy, what a topic that is. I really can't tell you the exact relationship that me and her have for the basic fact that I have no clue. I talk to her everyday. But see her about once every 10 days. When I do see her, things can't be any better. When I don't, Im clueless. Its hard to explain really. I can say that we are not together i think. Sometimes i feel like the woman of the relationship, like im being used. LOL. But i guess i can't complain about that end of it. Anyways, i think somewhere down the line everything will come clear and you fucks will start to see alot more of her.
So thats about it. Ill be happy to answer any questions if anyone has any. Oh yeah, to you gabe. If my pool is not at your prime temperature to be refreshed, then stay the fuck out of it! Don't complain. Use your own god damn pool! LOL j/k buddy. Peace...
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Saturday, May 10th, 2003

Subject:..One more fucking week...
Time:4:36 pm.
Mood: excited.
Man, im really excited right now. School is over. I have one more week of finals and then its done. Two years of college out of the way. Man, time flys. It seems like only yesterday that i was sitting in front of the hideout with mike and nick, eating a tony's pizza, red powerade and salsa verde dorritos. So ive just been chillin lately, trying to get ready for finals and shit. I saw the movie Identity last night. It was on okay movie with a trippy ending. Probably best to wait for dvd on this one though. So it looks as if i got a job at san dimas canyon golf course this summer. Its pretty dope because i can walk to work in 5 min or less. And its fuckin golf, what more can i ask for. So this update is pretty short, i konw, but i dont got that much to talk about. Im just really excited for summer. Its gonna be the shit. Later dawgs.
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Sunday, May 4th, 2003

Subject:"From lashes to ashes, from lust to dust..."
Time:9:18 pm.
Mood: content.
Whats up everyone>? So I know I said I would updating very often now, but things just caught up to me. This is my last week of school before finals, so you know how that goes. Well, some of you do. Others are always on break....you lucky pieces of shit. Anyways, I just got a call from Mike, all of you must be at the Chain show right now. I wish i was there. This weekend was actually pretty fun. On friday I went out to dinner in Pacific Beach for one of Lesley's friends birthdays. AFter that we went to this guy, tim's hosue and all got drunk. It was pretty fun. Except i have this bad habit these days of text messaging erin when i get a little tipsy. I think i said some shit that didnt need to be said at this time. But ill leave that to me. lol...Last night i went over to lesleys to watch "the ring" which really did scare me. It was a wierd movie with a wierd ending that i thought should have been changed. Today i did absolutely nothing. I did however track down this burger joint that my cousin told me to check out. It turns out that its only about two blocks away from my apartment. IT was actually really good. It's called Boll Weevil burger, and i guess it has sort of a cult following if you will. I cannot wait until fuckin school is out. This summer is gonna be the shit. I mean we got over the line season, pool parties, bitches, beer, baseball games, golf, what more could you ask for. It will be the best days of our lives. So thats, it....hope the show went okay tonight. See you nigs soon....One Yourself
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Tuesday, April 29th, 2003

Subject:When Angels Cry Blood
Time:12:51 am.
Mood: mellow.
What's goin on everyone. Im just sitting down here in san diego paying some bills, which blows, so i thought i would shout a holla to my niggas. This weekend was pretty fun. Especially the outburst at speghetti facotry. Man, my stomach muscles were sore the next day from laughing so hard. So some of the homos came over my house on saturday. I also had 2 serb friends over and they were playing music. Too bad my bug wasnt there or i would have jumped in. I can really whail. You guys have no clue. If only you could see the videos i have. But you never will, so dont ask. Paul gave me a HIM cd on saturday night. I cannot stop listening to it. I like all kinds of music. But this is incredible. I actually missed the 15 freeway because i was in like a zone listening to it. I just wanna make out for like 2 hours while listening to it. So i went to starbucks with lesley tonight, which is good times as always. My mom called me and told me that my grandma fell and hit her head pretty hard and had to be transported to the hospital. I guess its pretty bad, shes gonna spend some time there. School is coming down to an end, and i cant wait. Three more fuckin weeks of non stop hell and its over. Then ill be back baby. I cant wait. I bought a confederate flag on ebay for my room cause i lost the one that i bought in gettysberg in the 8th grade. Sacramento won tonight so boo yaa baby. Can't wait to face those nigger lakers and take um out. Well thats about it. Later Sk8ers.
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Thursday, April 24th, 2003

Subject:Yeah, I know
Time:1:13 am.
Mood: okay.
What's up everyone...Yeah, so it's been a while, but here's an update. Not much has been going on with me. It's been about 3 weeks since ive been home. I've been chillin down here, doin lots of papers and homework and shit. It's been tough..I havent seen Erin in a long time...even though we talk on the phone, there is nothing like seeing someone in person. But enough about that. My brother came down yesterday on the train to stay overnight cause hes on spring break. We pretty much just chilled. He went to work with me last night, which was kinda cool cause we just bowled and played pool and shit. My mom and aunt drove down today and took me out to a nice lunch at Canes, overlooking the great pacific ocean. After they left i pretty much did nothing and took a nap. I awoke and went to Viejas Casino with matt and john. Lets just say im 70 bucks poorer then when i walked in the door. For some reason im really not that pissed about it either. I love sitting at a blackjack table bs'ing with the dealers and shit. I did get a little pissed when i doubled down and got 19, only to see the dealer get 20 and take my money. So we came back and i took my sorrows out on an albert tacos burrito, which made me feel alot better. Easter is this sunday for us serbs so im looking forward to going to church. I havent been in forever, so it will be good to see the old gang. Thats about it from San Diego. Im gonna make it a point to update often. Im back baby!
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Thursday, April 10th, 2003

Subject:happy now?
Time:6:07 pm.
Mood: hungry.
here you go gabe
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Thursday, March 20th, 2003

Subject:fuck yeah
Time:2:21 pm.

:: how jedi are you? ::
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Subject:...and so it begins...
Time:12:33 am.
Mood: content.
Yo what up homies. Just got done eating some albert tacos and thought i would update. So not much has been going on. Oh except we started a war today. Ive kinda gone back and forth between my own views. I do think saddam needs to be taken out of power for the worlds sake. Now that we are at war, the country should, and will, rally behind the prez. All these protestors are taking police away from what they should be doing, protecting the citizens from terrorists. Its okay, by all means, to protest the war, but now that its officially on, they should morally back down and let everyone do their job. I really dont wanna make my journal an opinion poll so thats all ill say about that. I cannot wait until phoenix this weekend. Its the shit every year and should be once again. I downloaded some HIM today, and though it is very different, i really like it. Im sad that i didnt get to go with everyone to the rxb show tnoight, but its coo cause im gonna see them down here next wed. So thats about it, just wanted to quick update everyone. later....all the way usa
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Thursday, March 13th, 2003

Subject:Nothing Ever Changes...It only Re-Arranges
Time:12:37 am.
What's goin on my friends. So it seems like the last few days have been rough for some people. I guess that's just life. Last night was pretty tough to think about. I actually got a little scared by some of the things that certain people were saying. It just made me think that even though we are lucky to have pretty good lives, shit can always happen no matter who you are. I truely believe that everything happens for a reason. We just gotta keep trucking along to find out what these "little" things in life really mean. Some day, when we are all 40 and sitting in ricardos back yard we will know the true meaning of life and look back at all the things we did and say that we learned a lesson from them. It's good to know that we always have friends there to help us when we are down. For me, im excited to see what life holds in all of our futures. The way i see it, me and paul are gonna be busting niggers as cops, shay will bemaking laws in washington, we will see nutwood a few times a year when their tour stops to play a show at the hop in rowland heights, and the other fools will be doing their things as well. Everyone keep your heads up. Life is good, just htink about how bad it could be. Peace
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Tuesday, March 11th, 2003

Subject:...such a great word...
Time:1:24 am.
Mood: content.
Happy Monday night to everyone. So I guess i should touch on this weekend. Last week went by so slow, mostly cause I knew i was going home and i was gonna see erin for the first time since we had our "talk." She was sick on thursday night and that wasn't too good. So I drove home in no time on friday afternoon. I called erin and she was running a fever so she wasnt gonna be able to attend the nutwood show that night. The show was pretty good, but my mind was on other things most of the time. Me and Paul carpooled to the show which will probably be the first of many carpools that we will have cause we represent the 909 now. We went to pauls house, after most of the homos bitched out, which was pretty chill. The highlihght was probably the laughing attack we had when watching big chris's face while he "laughed." So saturday I woke up at a decent hour to my cousin and two uncles over my house. We were all standing around talking in our kitchen and my mom started cooking some food for us, which got me thinking how this could be a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding which is parallel to a serb household. Me, my bro, my uncle, and my cousin headed to downtown claremont to chill. U dont know how awsome it is to be around a white, upper middle class society. Im not trying to sound racist or anything, but its nice to just be around and feel totally in place. So i talked to erin in the afternoon and she said she was feeling better but not 100 percent. So I drove to glendale and we chilled at her house for a bit before going to get coffee. WE came back to her house and just sat in her room and watched some tv and yadda yadda yadda(for you mike) i tucked her into bed around 10. So I headed to the heights to meet up with some fuckers at fridays. We sat down and ordererd. And the usual shit happened. So yeah, the normal ricardo stop happened and about 3 i was on my way home. Sunday came and we had alot of family over. We all sat around our dinner table and we began talking about recent politics and how my aunt is on a womans sufferage kick. Ive never seen my whole family all the way from my little sister to my grandpa get in a full scale debate over everyhting. I think i started it by calling my aunt hipocritical because shes all woman this and that, but then refuses to fill her car up with gas, letting her husband do that. No emotions were hurt but the discussion and debate lasted for about an hour. I told her to come back and talk to me after she registered for the draft. LOL. So i came back to san diego after chillin for a bit and my normal monday came.
So onto the other part of my journal. Shit seems wierd lately. Alot of breaking up is going on. It just seems like most of the circle is in some sort of transition. Whether it be a new job, breaking up, or getting together, it seems like every one of us is having our little drama shit right now. I couldnt be more excited about where my shit is going right now. But just remember guys, nothing, i mean nothing, breaks this group up. Some may call us gay, wierd, or whatever, but I feel privledged to be part of such strong friendships. Sob Sob, yeah yeah, so thats all. Everyone keep doing a good job on your journals. Its nice to be able to read them nightly. That includes you mike anaya. p.s. My favorite word right now is cunt....its such a gread word....CUNT, fuck you cunt, your just a fuckin cunt, u fuckin cunt rag!
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Friday, March 7th, 2003

Time:5:03 pm.
So I am at home now. Its about 5pm and im looking forward to spennding the night with erin and nutwood. So erin calls me. Shes been sick for a few days and is now running a fever. She told me she would bite the bullit and come if i really wanted her to, but i told her to stay in bed and get better. What a great guy i am. Now i just have to settle with hanging with the same homos as every nutwood show. Just kidding circle, i love every single one of you. So yeah, it will be okay, but not the night i was looking forward to. I told her that i would drop the show alltogether and come over...but she said to go to the show and call her after. So maybe ill head to glendale tonight, who knows. Anyways, peace out ninjaas
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003

Subject:...Shit, I mean if the teachers don't wanna teach...
Time:12:35 am.
Mood: pleased.
I guess this is pretty cool..more and more of the circle jerks are getting live journals so we can look into each others lives more than we have already been doing. So today i decided that i would miss my first class. So at 10 or so i woke up to get ready for the rest of my classes. I gabe denny a ride to school and we proceeded to go to our english class. Fuckin Erika Kiss-Smith's ass didnt show up so we headed to the library to sit online for an hour and wait for our next class. Dennis decided that he would go to my section of us history since we had the same teacher. When we got there, my other roommate, who also has the class informed us that Prof. White wasnt there either. WTF, two in a row, my ass coulda slept for 2 more hours. So we went to taco bell and waited for our next class which we did have. Philosophy was boring and i spaced out most of the time just thinking about recent events. AFter that was lab which is always easy yet boring. At around 4 we were let out, in which me and d2k3 came home. I sat online and watched the sacramento game on tv. I talked to erin on the phone during the game which was just busy chatter. So I basically have just been sitting around watching tv. At around 10 15 or so erin called and we talked for about an hour and a half. Which is probably the longest conversation that i have ever had on the phone. We talked about a veriety of things including recent dreams and how she is sick. So now im just sitting here online making trades with john in the fantasy league so he can beat our friend mitch.
So yeah, even though i havent seen erin since all this, its been great so far. I guess nick broke up with his girlfriend. So all this has me thinking that we are all getting older. Everyone is our of high school, people getting together, people breaking up. Me and dennis were talking today about how shits gonna be in 10-20 years. Whos gonna be married, whos gonna have kids, whos gonna be dead. Which brought up lil chris spitting up blood. I made the comment of, "that would be the shit if lil chris died." I dont know, i dont really mean it, but it would be kinda cool if you think about it. Every time we would do somthing, we would tribute it to him. Anyways, i've taken enough of your time tonight, and you got more andmore journals to read. So ill see you guys tomorrow night, same serb time, same serb channel. Peace
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Wednesday, March 5th, 2003

Time:12:56 am.

I'm so scared that the way that I feel,
Is written all over my face,
When you walk into the room I wanna find a hiding place,
We used to laugh, we used to hug,
The way that old friends do,
But now a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just make me come unglued,
It's such a contradiction, do I lie or tell the truth,
Is it fact or fiction the way I feel for you.
Just when I think I'm under control,
I think I finally got a grip,
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips,
They say I'm more than just a friend,
They say I must be blind,
Well I admit that I've seen you watch me,
From the corner of your eye,
Oh it's so confusing I wish you'd just confess,
But think of what I'd be losing,
If your answer wasn't yes.
I hate it 'cause I've waited so long for someone like you,
Should I say it,
Should I tell you how I feel,
Oh I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
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Tuesday, March 4th, 2003

Subject:...Today was a good day...
Time:12:19 am.
Mood: ecstatic.
Ok.....So there is alot to talk about today. Let me start off with some stuff that has happened in the last few weeks. I think most of you have either met, or have heard me talk about erin. Just as background, I have known her my whole life. I took her to senior prom. We know everything about each other. So the past couple months have been kinda wierd. I guess i moved on from the best friend feelings to something more. So last weekend was my sisters 16th birthday party. And of course, she was there. Lets just say that the past week and a half or so have been kinda wierd for me. I cant get her off my mind, ive had like this wierd feeling in my stomach, and i cant sleep. I guess I realized that im in love with erin, or at least thats what I think has happened. So on friday night i wrote erin an emial. It just said that i had been thinking about her, and kinda joked about "how wierd it would be if something happened between us." We always joke, because everyone thinks that we are together. Today I talked to lesley and a few others about all this. I knew that I just had to come forward and tell her. Because I know that our friendship can last through anything. On a side note, i was watching chasing amy, and the whole speech in the car is perfect. Anyways, so i got off work and called her and had this big old speed planned out. So when she answered, i was like, "uhhhhh, hey, whats up." I am such a pussy. Even though this is the person i feel most comfortable around, i couldnt do it. So we talked or whatever, and she mentioned that she had read my email. And that was all she said about the emial. So after about 10 min or so i hung up and cursed myself for not saying what i needed to say. So i called lesley so she could tell me what a pussy i was. Here is where shit gets wierd. As i was talking to lesley, i got another call, and it was erin. She immediately said, "do you think it would be wierd." I said, what would be wierd, even though i knew exaclty what she was talking about. So erin began to tell me everything that i wanted to say to her. I just laughed and told her that I had planned to say the EXACT same shit to her. Now if this isnt destiny or whatever you wanna call it, then i dont know what it is. so we talked for like 45 min about everything. I guess she writes alot about me, and she told me that she would send me some stuff. I mean we have always said the little best friend, "i love you" thing. But this was different. Both of us knew it. So i guess what im trying to say is that me and erin are on the exact same page with our feelings towards each other. I am like, shocked, happy, and excited at the same time. I know I sound like a big homo talking about this. But i gotta let it out somehow. I guess this is just a really good time for this. So thats it fuckers. Im probably gonna come home this weekend now. So maybe ill see you when i see you. One Love
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Friday, February 28th, 2003

Subject:...Shut Your Mouth...
Time:12:46 am.
Mood: weird.
Sup jiggas and jiggetes.....Just got back from eating some Alberttacos, which is the absolute shit. Tonight was the Something Corporate show at ucsd. Overall, it was an okay show. We got there when Vendetta Red was playing, and I actually enjoyed them alot. The Juliana Theory was alright and then came SoCo. They played a pretty good set which included Constantine which is a great song. After the show we drove back to Alberttacos and now I sit here. Gabe, Robert, Alfred, and Cody from speedzone just left about 10 min ago. Good to see those guys. I am still fucking pissed off that I have to miss the Finch show on Saturday to go to some fucking play for my English class. Sucks ass. I've been thinking about Erin alot lately. I saw her at my sister's party last weekend and can't get her out of my head since. Kinda wierd I guess.....I don't know....hard to explain. So...that's about all I have to say. Later bitches.
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Tuesday, February 25th, 2003

Subject:It's not what you know, it's who you know
Time:8:43 pm.
Mood: bored.
What up. So this is my first official entry in livejournal, and so far, it's a hell of a lot better than ujournal. As I type, im sitting in the bowling alley, bored off my ass, watching American Idol. Today was a nothing day. I woke up at 1, sat around till 5 and went to work. While I was at work, the manager from the pizza place upstairs came in and wanted to bowl. So me being the bullshitter that I am said, "free bowling for free pizza?" And he agreed. Nigga hooked it up with a large pizza and a soda. So that was good. So far, nothing exciting has happened. Rowland varsity is loosing by 7 at half. Its about 8 45, so i got a little over an hour left. I think nutwood had a shot tonight, so I hope that went well. So that's all from rainy san diego. Hope to see you niggers soon. One more thing. I barrowed the ignite cd from mike for like the 3rd time. I can't believe how much I love that cd. It's the shit. The music, the lyrics, and yes gabe, zoli's voice. I don't understand anyone who says that it's not a great cd. Peace out.
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Time:3:43 pm.
What's up everybody. So I liked the look of everybodys live journal better so I made the switch over. I really don't have much to say right now. I will update later tonight. I just wanna say thanks to G$ for giving me the code to create my jounal. What a guy. If you like good bands check out his band at Nutwoodrocks.com. Even though all of you reading this already know that. Peace out. RIP Mr. Perfect!
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Time:3:38 pm.
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